Monday, March 30, 2009

It's been a long while....

I haven't been on here since January and seeing that in a few days it will be April (my goodness, where has the time gone....) I figured I needed to update my blog before I feel like it is a lost cause. We haven't had much going on around the Polson household... just lots of resting in between many bouts of sickness. The last post I made was in the midst of the boys having a week-long stomach flu... ugh! Since then it seems that the boys and I have taken turns being sick each week. As I sit here writing this, I'm surrounded by tissues and my head and neck are quite achy. Unfortunately, that hasn't been the worst of it.

In early February, Jeremy and I were quite surprise to find out we were pregnant! I will be honest and let you know... I wasn't super excited. We know we want to have at least one more child, Lord willing, but I was not ready to be pregnant again. Soon my energy seemed to vaporize and the boys seemed to become more demanding of what little energy I had left! Jeremy has always been super excited about our pregnancies from day one and he can't wait to tell people. I for some reason lean the other way, not really wanting people to know until I am showing and this time Jer gave in to me and we decided to keep the pregnancy quiet. We started talking about names and I started dreaming of a nursery (I've yet been able to have one with our current living situation). It was only a matter of weeks until I was sure we were having a girl and my excitement started to overflow. My face kept breaking out terribly and I was craving fat and sugar... I started dreaming of buying dresses and having a pink nursery! I have been wanting a girl with each of our boys... don't get me wrong... I adore my boys, but there is a special bond that a mother can have with a daughter that could last a lifetime... that's not really there with a boy. Late at night on March 18th, the Lord showed me that He had a different plan and there will be no baby for us in October. He chose to take our baby home to be with Him. It has been harder than I had ever imagined it would be and I'm not sure I will ever understand His purpose this side of Heaven, but I'm choosing to trust Him and thank Him for giving us our baby for the time that He did. All glory be to God.
Many other things have happened besides the miscarriage to praise God for. We have been trying to buy a house and have had several offers out there, but have yet to find "our"place. In the beginning of March, Kyle started preschool at the school Jeremy teaches at. He goes for two mornings a week and I pick him just after they eat lunch, so he is home with me before noon. He absolutely loves it and it gives me some one-on-one time with Bryce and Bryce seems to love that! Bryce celebrated his birthday on March 10th and is one now. (I'm waiting to get pics from the family and I'll post more on that later.)

The Lord continues to bless us with His grace and mercy and we are so grateful for His abounding love and forgiveness. We wanted to thank all of our family and friends who reached out to us to let us know you are praying for us or to share some kind and encouraging words. The Lord has used you to remind us of his unfathomable love. I'll end this with some of the most recent pics of the boys... that were taken at the end of January!

2 comments:

Margaret said...

Oh Jenn! What a sweet post. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a testimony you are through this.
Love,
Margaret

Jodi said...

Your strength and spirit are an inspiration.

Thinking of you,
Jodi